Top 11: Most shameful things I've ever eaten.

One of the things we talk about at WW is that its okay to eat anything you want as long as your prepared, plan for it, and don't over indulge. However, I believe there have been moments in my culinary past that may have made even the most seasoned WW meeting leader cringe. Also, I believe that shedding one's guilt through confession is a healthy thing. So, in that vein, here are the top eleven most shameful things I've ever eaten. Why top 11? Because I like to go one step beyond.

11: The Double Down
I already wrote an article on this, so I won't go much further on it here. However, an interesting fact to think about is that a KFC Double Down has less Calories, and less fat than a McDonalds Big Mac. On the other hand, the very premise of this "sandwich" earns its a place on this list.
Total WW Points: 13

10: McDonald's Triple Thick Shake
Apparently McDonald's never heard of the phrase, "if its not broke, don't fix it." I always thought their milkshakes were find the way they were. But no, they felt the need to try to improve them in recent years. Now they're triple thick, and topped with whip cream.
Total WW Points: 12

9: An entire Box of Tag-a-Longs
When its that time of year again, and those little demons dressed in green and brown stand around the grocery stores offering up boxes of cookies for $3.50 a pop, they get me every time. And don't kid yourself. Those girls act all cute and innocent, but they know exactly what they're doing, "Hey mister, want to buy some cookies? They're only a few dollars." That's how they get you. The peanut butter tagalongs are my vice of choice, and every year we by twelve boxes, TWELVE! One for every month. And now that Amanda's niece is a girl scout they're so easy to obtain. However, there was one time where I opened a box as I played video games late into the night, and before I knew, I reached for another cookie, and there was no more left to eat.
Total WW Points: 20

8: Jimmy John's Italian Night Club
When hanging out with with one of my friends and it comes time to enjoy a meal he will always ask for suggestions. I will throw out pizza, Chinese, or Mexican. After turning all those down, we will inevitably always end up deciding on Jimmy Johns. Because, you know, that's a much more healthier choice compared to my original suggestions...right? Well apparently not; the first time I looked up the nutrition facts for the sandwich I always ordered my jaw hit the floor. This sandwich is worth as many points as some of my fellow WWer's get in one day!
Total WW Points: 24

7: Chili Cheese Fries
Found at most ballparks, fairs, and theme parks, these are the kind of things that make foreigners shake their heads at us Americans. Think about it, deep fried potatoes, smothered in melted nacho cheese and and chili. And by some, that's considered an APPETIZER!
Total WW Points: 9 points per cup (200 grams)

6: Perkins Peanut Butter Silk Pie
Perkins has its perks. Okay, stop rolling your eyes. But anyway, they have breakfast all day, and great muffins. They also have pie, and there is on particular piece that consistently tempts my pallet every time I walk past that dessert trophy case. Death by chocolate has got nothing on this baby.
Total WW Points: 24 points per piece

5: Wendy's Triple
A really hungry person that's in a hurry will do some really foolish things. When that happened to me, I once ordered the Wendy's triple.
Total WW Points: 25 points

4: Honey Roasted Peanuts
How bad could peanuts be? Well, when they're honey roasted, they're really bad. These are dangerously addictive, because they're so small. So even when I was chowing them down by the handfuls, it didn't seem like I was eating THAT much. However, they come in containers that hold 16 servings. I remember while living in the dorm at college, I once ate half a container of these buggers in one night.
Total WW Points: 4 points per serving, total = 32 points

3: Little Debbie Peanut Butter Crunch Bars
Oh Little Debbie, why do you haunt me so? This brand offers so many delightfully delicious yet oh so bad for you snacking choices. My favorite is the peanut butter crunch bars. But one snack package can't be that bad on its own, you might say. You're right, however, I didn't eat just one. My emotions were behind this incident. As a kid, my very sensible mother only allowed me to have one serving of these peanut butter beauties. Well, one day I was feeling particularly spiteful. I wanted to have more than one, so I did, and polished off a box of them over a weekend. By now, you may have started to notice a peanut butter pattern emerging.
Total WW Points: 7 points per serving, total = 35 points

2: Double Stuffed Oreos Dipped in Crunchy Peanut Butter
I shake my head when I think about the concept of this, but it just tastes so good. However, its just so unnecessary. The very thought that I consumed this, more than a few times, brings me to giggles. Although, I cannot take credit for this. I got this concept from a movie, but which movie it was has escaped me.
Total WW Points: 5 points per serving, total = 40 points

1: A Frozen pepperoni pizza with Summer Sausage and extra cheese added
This came out of wrestling. The subject of more than a couple future blogs, I'm sure. After one season I think I felt like I needed to make up for lost time, and a frozen pizza on its own just wasn't enough. So, I threw on some extra toppings, some pieces of summer sausage, and shredded cheddar cheese. I'm not proud of this one; I am so ashamed.
Total WW Points: 47 points

There it is, the top 11 things I'm ashamed to admit I consumed. Well, I gave it up, now do you have anything to confess?

Table for One

I find one of the hardest times to eat right is when I'm eating alone. My football coach once told me that you show your true character when you act when nobody is watching. When it comes to consuming food, I find temptation is at its greatest when your sitting at the table by yourself. It makes me think about all the situations that usually involve a singular dining experience. I make bad choices when I eat emotionally. I eat comfort food alone, because there's an element of shame there. I'm not proud to eat a crunchy peanut butter sandwich that's slathered so thick with PB it clogs your arteries just to look at it. But if no one is around to see it, no one to judge it, then its much easier to eat it, and enjoy it. Its so much easier to do anything slightly unscrupulous, such as have an extra slice of pizza, when you're the only one around around, after all, no one else is going to eat it, right? However, the opposite is true, as well. How would you act if you constantly had an entire crowd of people watching your every move, judging everything you did. It would certainly make you question your food choice, if not every other action you did. A couple weeks ago I was having dinner at that most decadent and genteel of establishments, the Texas Road House, and the wonderful young lady acting as our server very gracefully offered to add cheese and bacon atop my french fries. Now there's something to make an entire crowd gasp in horror. I dare to think how many points that would up the ante on my steak fries. I was ready to deny the offer in disgust, however I was also eating with a small crowd. To my shock and dismay I was peer pressured in to partaking in the evils that cheese and bacon bring. It goes to show, that every so often the crowd can turn on you. But like the sword, a crowd can be used for good and evil. One of my favorite memories from high school was the Match Wrestling Meet against North High. I was facing the cross town rival in my weight class with the bleachers much more full than usual. The match ended with me pinning the boy in blue and the whole crowd going wild. Talk about empowering; that was a great feeling. So eat for an audience. If you find yourself reaching for a cookie you shouldn't really have, then imagine a whole bunch of people with their eyes on you questioning your actions. On the other hand, if you're unmotivated to eat those vegetables, think of a a crowd of fans, waving banners with your name on them, screaming you encouragement as you pick up the carrots and broccoli, and win the day.

Double Down

If there was a hall of fame for fast food the Bic Mac would be the first entry. Of course it would; it has song written about it for crying out loud. In the days of royalty, swords, deadly plagues, constant mud, the repressive church, bathing one day a year, being lucky to live to the age of fifty, ( you know, the good old days) if you had a song written about you, then you became a legend. If you went to a place where a song had been sung about you then you were you received a hero's greeting. With a song, you were feared, respected, and appreciated. If the Big Mac would be deemed illegal it would still live on in the hearts and minds of many Americans because of the damn catchy jingle. Well, a new rookie has come on the scene to challenge the king. In my first post I declared the sandwich as the superior food. What KFC has presented here has made me question that assessment. I think this may be an abuse of the sandwich's power. With great power comes great responsibility, and if this was a baseball player it would be Barry Bonds. Not skinny and quick Barry Bonds, but the huge, bloated, kick your ass for looking at him wrong, and hit homeruns clear out of the park Barry Bonds. This "sandwich," if you can call it that, needs to be tested for steroids, or at least brought in front of congress for questioning. I guess it fits all the requirements for a sandwich. No actual bread, but it does have breaded chicken, and things squeezed between them, bacon, cheese, things you might find in a sandwich. But don't you just get heartburn and gassy just from looking at it? People have called burgers from Hardees, and burritos from Taco Bell heart attacks waiting to happen, but the Double Down is a heart explosion waiting to happen. Someone may die from this thing.... So, I tried it. And, I think its safe to call it a sandwich. I would not recommend having more than one a month, if you dare. It tastes, well, it tastes how you would think it would taste, fried chicken with bacon and cheese. You know at Watchers we talked about how sometimes you need to ask yourself is what your eating worth it. Is it worth the regret, guilt, and not mention the bodily function effects, to have those few minutes of enjoyment. I asked myself that as I consumed the packaged tachycardia and my brain responded, "Shut up and be a man!" So, this whole thing about asking myself is it worth it is not working for me anymore. My want is defeating my better judgment. I have to focus the future from now on, instead of the very present.

I did have one great revelation from experiencing KFC's myocardial infarction. Among the very few ingredients in the coronary thrombosis in a wrapper was a sauce, a very tasty sauce. I thought to myself, "you know what else has a special sauce, a Big Mac." What's so special about a sauce? A sauce changes the taste of whatever you're having. When I was young and I didn't like the taste of whatever meat I was having, which occurred more often than not, I would drown it in ketchup, the simplest of sauces. To this day, I don't like roast beef, meat loaf, or sloppy joes. However, you throw a good sauce on anyone of those that kill their normal taste, I would happily consume any of them. So, to enjoy food that's good for you, filling foods perhaps, maybe all one needs is a good sauce. Hell, salsa improves almost anything.

I still haven't managed to get my bike ready to ride to and from work. I think that will be my goal this week. With the days getting nicer and nicer, it makes no sense to drive that short distance.

Carpe Diem!

Carpe Diem! It means "seize the day!" I felt like I certainly did that today. Now that I introduced today, I shall begin by talking about yesterday. On my way to work I ran over something metallic, and very pointed, double pointed in fact. You can always tell when you run over something and it sticks in your tire because there's a slight variation in how the steering feels, and there's a god-awful, swear-inducing "KER-CHUNCK!" noise every few seconds. Luckily, I was only a few car lengths away from work, and had arrived very early to catch up on some paper work. However, my car, being the brat that she is, demanded my attention, instead. You know, it was this kind of situation that would cause me to crave a great big greasy cheeseburger, with no pickles, in the past. Either from Wendy's or Culver's. Just drown my sorrow, self-pity, and five layers of meat and American cheese, that could cause a heart attack just by looking at it. But I manage to overcome that as I kept thinking, "would a great big greasy cheeseburger, with no pickles, really make this situation any better?" Part of brain was screaming, "YES! Of course a great big greasy cheeseburger, with no pickles, would make this situation better, it would make almost any situation better." As I rose off my back from the cement, succeeding in attaching my spare tire, I threw my thoughts away because they obviously don't give good advice, and didn't have my best interests in mind, (ha, thoughts, in mind). So, I went to work. Although a great big greasy cheeseburger, with no pickles, would make feel better, TEMPORARILY, it would not remove the metallic, double pointed object from my tire.

Now to today. Oh I seized today alright; I seized it by the haunches, wrestled it to the ground, and made it my pet. Today can be summed up in three small words, "Its a boy." Again, another situation in the past where I would think a you know what, with no pickles, would make infinitely better; a perfect way to celebrate. But as I stood there in that dim lit room, and stared at that black and white image of my son to be, I felt a whirlwind of emotion that swept away almost everything that I thought was important before. That little guy was going to need me and I owe it to him to be as healthy as I can be so that I can take all his needs, throw them on my shoulders and carry them all for him until he can take a few for himself. The first thing that he will be taking are the pickles.

The tire was easily fixed for a very reasonable price. No great big greasy cheeseburger, with no pickles, needed here. Instead, for lunch I just had a sandwich. I think I'm pretty close to concluding that the sandwich is the most superior of all foods. It is the Jedi Master of foods. It's so customizable to fit your personal needs. If you haven't found a sandwich that's perfect for you, then maybe you need take some time off, and smell the wheat bread. Every layer can be changed and swapped out for something else, creating a whole new taste and nutritional content. I almost always go with some sort of variation on the ham and cheese, and all time classic, with no pickles. Well, I went to the fridge today, and I knew we had ham in there but I almost made a critical mistake that could have cost me a vital number of points. I reached in the fridge and grabbed the first thing I perceived as sandwich ham. I nab the package open it up and say to myself, "this ham is awful thick for sandwich ham. " Looking back on it now, I see myself in slow motion about to place the mysteriously thick ham onto my sandwich when I stopped myself and read the package. There it was, clear as crystal, (which is not always perfectly clear by the way) "HAM STEAKS." This was not sandwich ham at all, but ham for some future dinner. I luckily discovered my mistake in the nick of time, (get it? the NICK of time, eh? Eh?) and was able to save my sandwich and our future dinner with one moment just stopping and taking the time to smell the Monterey Jack Cheese. Huzzah! Having taken the day off, I had plenty of time to walk the dogs. However, in the future I will have to motivate my legs to get this done earlier, before work.

Tonight was brenner, (breakfast for dinner), a favorite in this household. We had omelets. And they were delicious, filling and satisfying. Then we went to a movie, 'How to Train Your Dragon.' I strongly recommend it if you're looking for a quality family film, or a classic example of Campbell's "The Hero's Journey." It was too bad we couldn't see it in 3D, I think it would have made it better, but it held up well without that gimmick. We didn't succumb to the movie snack temptation. Dinner was filling enough where we felt like we didn't need it. However, I'll always condone sneaking snacks in to the theater. If you feel guilty about it, don't. I am friends with some cinema employees and they are the first to admit that movie snack prices are unreasonable, and if they were working and spotted somebody sneaking in a more nutritional alternative they would go as far as providing a cup for you to enjoy your substitute theater delight, with no pickles.

I'm going to try to ride my bike to work tomorrow, but if I'm going to do that regularly I'm going to have to get the rear light replaced.

Its a boy!

Weekend Warrior

I earned quite a few activity points this weekend. Saturday afternoon I suited up in my Jedi costume and turned on the lightsaber once again at the Mead Public Library. Members of Rebel Legion, the 501st and myself posed for pictures and met with kids. My dueling partner and I put on a choreographed fight about twice an hour for four hours straight. I was sucking water between sets and felt pretty good by the time all was said and done. When I finally went home I could feel it in my arms and calves. Even with yesterday's festivities we still had sword practice today. We took it pretty easy, going over some techniques and things like that. However, for the last half hour we padded up and did some full on sparring. We took sword practice outside, enjoying the nice weather and I gained my first sunburn of the year, and its not even May. I took one hard hit on my thumb and it still hurts so I've been icing it down. On the other hand, I got really nice move on my other sparring partner that we had practice earlier. So it was a successful session. I'm not very motivated to record and use activity points. Because I feel like if I do use them, the hard work I did is really going to waste, and I'll just end up breaking even.

For dinner we grilled out. I really like grilling. Maybe its because it embodies everything about summer, or maybe its primordial man thing, or something. I had two brats, but only one bun. I like to add buffalo/hot sauce to grilled meats. Puts a little zip on the taste. I really like buffalo wings, but too many of those will suck up points like a vacuum. My wife bought me the hot sauce they have at Hooters. I like it, and I don't think it really adds points for using it.

I'm really excited for this week because we find out if its a girl or boy on Wednesday. I'll have to end it here because I have to head out to the parents house tomorrow morning and take their garbage out. I hope I can get back in time to take the dogs for a nice long walk.

Sample lightsaber fight

Sample light saber fight with effects added